Old Fred's End

Determined to depart this earth, old Fred
devised his suicide, plus back-up plan.
To guarantee the noose would choke him dead,
a .45, shot as the fall began
should nicely do the trick, but just in case,
some cynanide slipped in some soup before
his leap into oblivion would brace
the certainty of crashing through Death's door.
so, from a tree above the sea, Fred jumped
and fired his gun, but missed and hit the twine,
and to the swirling, whirling waves was dumped,
where, vomiting, was rescued from the brine.
This brush with death restored life's thrill of old,
but hypothermic shock now killed him cold.